Shower Thinking

So yesterday while I was in the shower ( yes, I was able to take a shower ALONE!!) Anyways, so I have this thought, ” Is this where I thought my life would be at now?”

No, it’s not. I knew that I would at least be married, but to have kids, no way. I never thought of myself as one who would want them, or being in my life. ( No worries, I love my kids lol.) Or, how about living in another state? Not a chance. When I was younger I could never see myself moving away from my family. When I was asked if I wanted to go to camp, I said no just knowing that I would be away from my home and family. But now, you couldn’t pay me to go back to Michigan lol. I don’t want anything to do with the snow, or cold, or ice anymore. Who would? I’m not a skier, or snowboarder. I want to stay inside and be warm, with some hot chocolate lol. Texas is more for me anyways. Plus, family and friends don’t always turn out how you imagined them too, and that also helps in the decision to change things in your life as well.

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Its crazy to me that my world revolves around caring for my children. Making sure that I keep them alive daily, which I’m doing pretty good at right now, haha. Being a stay at home mom, cooking dinners, cleaning the house and laundry. I’ve had all those things done for me while growing up, so it was definitely a learning curve for me. Do I like it? Eh!. I’m a working girl. I like to be at work, helping people, doing what I do best. But sometimes, you have to make certain sacrifices when it comes down to family and doing what is best for everyone. But what about mom? Why does mom always have to put herself on the back burner? Why do I have to wait to put myself in school to finish being what I wanted to start in the first place. Why does mom have to do everything? Cook, clean, organize, get things ready and together. Make sure that each child has what they cannot leave the house without. Sometimes being a mom makes it hard for us to put our dreams and wants in front of everyone else’s. Now do people understand why we get so bat shit crazy sometimes? haha.

Life isn’t perfect, it’s messy. So, you can either spend the time crying over the mess that has been made, or you can actually clean the shit up and get on your way! I love my life, don’t get me wrong. I have an amazing husband, and great kids, but I also want to be selfish at times, but then just feel too guilty to do something for me, and set it on the back burner. ( Like all moms ). I don’t have an ending yet to this blog because my life is still going, but how I pave the way for my future is how it’s going to pan out.

 

-E

2 thoughts on “Shower Thinking

  1. When I was at home with my kids, my fantasy was to go to a Red Roof Inn all by myself! Love how genuine you are! Keep looking for ways to improve things for you, too. It ain’t easy, I know! Happy Easter!

    Like

    1. Happy Easter Marge! Thank you!!! One day at a time right? Lol

      Like

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