What a busy weekend!! My mother in law was here this past week to visit with us and the kids, AJ left for Key West to hang out with his buddies and have a vacation. Him not being here was like him living in California all over again. This time when he was leaving, I was freaking out that it will just be me and the kids because I have already done that for a 3 month stretch. Lol. Back to the cleaning (which hardly doesnt get done anyways lol) feeding, bathing, getting dressed, and putting to bed.
I’m sure that I already talked about this in one of my other blogs, but I commend all those single moms or moms who’s husbands are working out of town to keep their family afloat, and your doing it all alone. It’s hard. It’s emotional. It’s frustrating. I felt all those things. I even had to go to my doctor and ask for something to help me out, because no doubt, I was depressed. I was used to going from having the help 24/7 and being able to split the share to just me, myself and I. I mean some of the days still feel like that now, with the long hours that AJ has to work sometimes, but he comes home at night, and that’s all that matters.
My mom was a great support system for me. She had been through it before with my dad when we were little, except he was gone a lot longer than 3 months. And thank god my mom doesnt work and that she can fly for free with my dad working for Delta because she was able to be out here to help me. Being away in a different state while all this was going on was harder. Not a lot of support and help out here for that. I had a few select friends who were able to help me, but everyone else has their own life too. So asking for the help as much as I would have liked, I felt bad for bothering other people, make sense?
You definitely feel alone. Even though you really arent, but inside you feel like it. Going from being mom and dad, to having to leave the kids out on the patio, crying at the back door to let them in, you inside, looking at them thinking, I just cant do this anymore! (Of course, I let them back in lol). But I just needs that minute to breath, and I actually laughed looking at them because I couldnt believe that I did that lol. So exhausted at the end of the night, sometimes I just said “screw it” to the shower lol. No joke, some days I might not even have a minute to brush my teeth either until I’m ready for bed haha. I held it together and made it through, lol. And I think that it only made me stronger in the end. I am more patient with my kids and I dont let the small things bother me anymore. I appreciate more as well.
3 days is way better than 3 months, and I’ll take that over anything! lol.